Big Ideas, Tiny Baby

I've decided that until I quit crying in the shower over Laynie, I shouldn't date. Dating is exhausting. I am too old, too tired, too impatient, to HOPE that a guy sees my true potential through a really short haircut, and a huge dose of self-angst. Plus, I am so into my relationship with God right now, that dating is a distraction. I am really enjoying my one on one time with God. He is leading me in a totally complete direction. And I don't mean being a lesbian. I mean, Being so busy on a BIG scale with Laynie's memory. I want to lead blood drives, I want to raise awareness of not only the importance of being a blood donor, but an organ donor as well. I want to meet with people that head up BIG events and start some BIG EVENTS. I don't want to go out of this life with nary a bang. I want everyone and everybody to have known about Laynie. And that begins and ends with me.

There is still so much to be done. So much to say, so many lives to minister to. I'm a LOLLYZILLA gone wild. With a purpose. Someone told me the other day (not on this subject, but on a work matter) "You're not thinking BIG enough, you're still minimizing your potential. THINK BIG" Which got me to thinking BIG.... We need blood drives SOMEWHERE every single month. Whether we do it on our own, or we team with an EXISTING blood drive, we need Laynie fans hitting the streets all over the state of Oklahoma. Blood drives EVERY MONTH. We are going to plan a 5K for the spring, and it's going to be huge, going to team with Children's Miracle Network and have a GIANT one.... because Laynie fans WANT to be a part of her story, and though she may not be here with us, HER MEMORY and OUR LOVE FOR HER, will never dim... nor fade, because a LOLLYZILLA is born and awareness has to HAPPEN. And don't think that YOU alone can't make a difference... You have friends, and they have friends, and TOGETHER, WE CAN and WILL make a difference. We will be a nation of LAYNIEZILLAs. With the sole purpose of making a difference.



I got ants in my pants. And it's for making a difference, and as my friends, I ask you to search your life. Are you happy? Do you comfort yourself by buying more shoes? I tried that and all it did was create havoc in my closet. Grab this passion to do more with me, and let's make a difference together. Become an organ donor when you renew your drivers license. Talk over your decisions with your family, so they know what to do in case of a catastrophic event. Don't be scared to talk about it .... talking about it doesn't make it so... then donate blood. Be brave, and donate. If you aren't able to donate due to medical reasons, then help me plan blood drives. I am thinking BIG and OVER THE TOP. and it's all because a lil tiny baby made me know I could do anything.... and will. But most importantly, love God. Love Him with all of your heart, your might, your strength, and He will see you through anything life throws at you.

God is Good, all the time....

Reflections of September 11

 I remember when the planes went into the twin towers.  Hallie turned 3 years old that day.  For whatever reason, after church on Sunday 2 days before, I had an urge to rearrange her birthday party and we had a spontaneous Sunday party, instead of the Tuesday we had planned.  Because 2 days later, thousands of people died.  There wasn't much celebrating in our home.  This was already a hard time of year for us, as my dad died at the age of 60 September 12, 1994.   I always said that God gave me Hallie in September to give us something joyous to celebrate at the time we were so sorrowful.  Pulled our attention away from the grief of losing the patriarch of our family.  God has been faithful to us, far before I acknowledged that it was God's hand.

I heard something that made me really sad on the radio as I was driving home from Hallie's birthday extravaganza this morning.... The year after the attack almost every american was flying a flag at their home in memory of the precious lives lost that day.  Now 9 years later, there are just a smattering of flags here and there.  Why do people forget?  Why do people get so busy in their everyday lives that they forget all the things that should shape us??  I, for one, will fly my flag every September 11 until the day I die.  I will NEVER forget.

Lacey has been very down this past week.  Rain and cloudy weather make us always down, this year even more so.  I walked into her house last night, and she was just crying and holding a book.   "WHAT??"  my heart pounding....  "Mom, it's our book from the funeral home"  (where all of you precious ones went and wrote your tribute to Laynie)   "It's EXACTLY what I needed, because I need to know her life made a difference, and that it mattered."   Oh my heart.  Oh my aching heart.   Not only for my own loss of a precious lil miracle that carries my heart, but for my precious firstborn who carries my heart as well.  How can I ease her pain, when my own is triplefold??

I know Laynie impacted you people.  I see her fan base still growing, and I know you are sharing her story.  Her life MATTERED, and I hope in the everyday of your lives, you don't stop telling her story.   Don't quit flying your flags and don't ever forget a tiny baby that changed us all.

God is Good, All the Time.