Dropping the Mask of Pain

I have been very remiss in writing.  I sometimes believe that what I think, or what I am feeling is somehow encroaching on your time, or your emotions. I don't want to burden Laynie fans with sadness, or with pain. Here's what I remembered today at church, under the wonderful message from our campus pastor Miles... It's so easy when you are a child, and get hurt, to go run for help to your parents. As adults, we lose that sense of running for help. We bury it deep inside of ourselves, and put on a "Mask of Indifference". What I remembered today, is there is hope beyond the hurt.


I think what struck the chord in so many people about Laynie's journey, was that we never gave up hope. We knew going in that we were only given a small amount of time to garner every bit of wonder and goodness from this gift. We never took for granted one single day, that we would have the next day. It was truly a scriptural walk. God wants us to live "In the moment", building our faith, and our trust in Him, so that when the storms come, and they will come, we are so firmly planted, where I like to say, "In His pocket", that NOTHING, no matter how hard, or sad or desperate it is, God is there, and we can hear His voice through the pain.

I am OVER 2010. There has been so much loss, so much hurt, so much anger, and so much bitterness this year, that I am OVER it. I have had to watch my grandbaby die, I have had to suffer the loss of a job, from people I trusted with my very life, I've had to react to friends' dying, friends' parents dying, babies dying, car wrecks and loss of friendships. And the only constant thing I could count on through every single loss, was God's ever faithful presence. He never says He will keep that pain from coming, but what He does promise is that He will NEVER leave our side. And because of that promise, I have been able to walk through some very difficult days.

And it's really because I have trusted myself to write, and to be transparent in my "musings", that God has given me near total healing from the pain of loss. I know my writings aren't for everyone, but I know that there are many of you out there struggling with some sort of hurtful, painful situation right now. And with the pain of being broken myself, I can stand here before you today, and say, "God will never forsake or leave you, just keep walking the walk, and never, never, never, give up hope"

"Praise Be to God...the Father of compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

Please know that if you are hurting, or experiencing a loss, you are NOT alone. Just reach out, and ask for help. Never, never, never, give up hope.  God's blesses you with losses to teach you compassion, and gives you healing so you can be strong for someone else.  I know this first hand. 

God is Good, all the time.

Life is Good

I am so proud of my children.   Lacey took an intership with Children's Miracle Network this past week and started her beginning with them with a BANG.   They had their annual radiothon this week, and we reflected over last year, when Laynie ended up in the hospital for what we know now, was the beginning to our ending.  Well, this year was very different.  In addition to hearing the "Laynie montage" over and over on KXY 96.1, Lacey talked several times on the radio and got to share A L O T about her walk and the enormity of the beauty.  Dan & Bill and Patti (the DJ's) all remembered Laynie (who could forget her?) and loved talking about her with Lacey.   I was on once, and was a big giant dork machine (which is what I do best), and thankfully the radio went silent during most of my spiel, so I didn't sound completely crazy.  It's funny how you KNOW what you want to say, and then when you actually GET UP THERE to say it, you just lose brain power.  That's my story, but it's sure not Lacey's.  She is amazing.

Now Kip, in her final two semesters of her 5 year architecture program.  In addition to going to school full time..She got not one, but 2 jobs this week.  Part time at a retail store at our mall, for the seasonal rush, and then the best and biggest blessing, she will be working with the Lymphoma/Leukemia Foundation, as a recruiter.   What an amazing job for her.  She will be able to share her story with hundreds of kids and teachers and rally them to do fundraisers in their school to support the Lymphoma/Leukemia Foundation.  (big ole smile from Mom, here).

And I can't forget Hallie, who is hauling in a 4.0 in middle school.  SHe loves to talk about Laynie, and has no problem telling anyone the story.

Could any of us have done this 3 years ago??  Boldly shared our faith and talked about God's mercy and love, to just about ANYONE that walks by??  I don't think so.  But we are different.  All because of a tiny little miracle that taught us all.

God is Good, all the time.