I couldn't sleep at all last night. I was wandering the halls, so entrenched in worry that I could hardly breathe. I kept praying and praying and praying for peace. And then it hit me. I was going at this deal all wrong. When I focus on ME, it's too intense, it's too overwhelming. It's all about ME, and I'm too imperfect. So, I started praying for others. I prayed for my mom and her toes, and her slight fender bender from yesterday. I prayed for my bubba, and his continued success at work. I prayed for Brad (I pray for people in age order), that he get the deer of all deer this weekend, and that he makes it home safe and sound from his hunting expedition. I prayed for Lacey, that she roars through statistics like the lion she is and kicks it all in the face with her typical incredibleness. I prayed for Kip, that she relax about what God has in store for her and just not worry about graduation next May, and enjoy each day as we ride it out. I prayed for Hallie and that she comes to terms with all the changes happening in our lives, and that she find the strength to deal with what's ahead for us. And as I prayed all these things, all MY concerns faded into nothingness.
And I slept.
Upon waking up, everything changed in an instant. Something I had been battling was lifted and I could breathe again. I have lost so much weight that I fit into pants I wore 4 years ago, and what should I find in the pocket of those jeans??? $46. Because God is with me every second, and He is asking me to trust Him in a way I have never let myself trust before, and I can do this. I can trust Him, with all my heart, and all my strength and all my soul, and He will never leave me. Even when I have no hair, or lose so much weight I have no more booty to sit on. He is with me. Every second. Every breath. Every sorrow. Every victory. He Is There.
God is Good, all the time.
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