My celebration words for our precious Smidge... July 13, 2010

With the AT THE MOVIES theme going on here at Lifechurch, I feel it only right to incorporate that into my "musings". Since everyone on the planet (or almost everyone) has seen Avatar, I can use the example of Jake getting his Avatar body for the first time. He has been confined to a wheelchair, and when he realizes that when he gets his LEGS in his new big body, he's not limited to a chair anymore, he can not only WALK, but he can RUN. And he takes off and and just builds speed, and runs and runs and runs. And his FACE, the pure utter joy and laughter and HAPPINESS just radiate from him. That is how I see my Laynie. But not blue, and not real tall "funsized", most definitely bald, and wearing the biggest smile in Heaven. Just running and running and running.. Thank you Payten Sutterfield, for your precious words, not too many three year olds can boast that their words were repeated over and over by hundreds of people, as your precious words were.


Two things about Laynie I will carry forever and ever. First her laugh, when she laughed it was unexpected, it would bubble from her toes and her whole body would shake. We spent some precious time laughing together, and her smile. You felt like you'd be given an award when you rec'd a smile from her.

Laynie spent her last night securely tucked first with her mommy, then her daddy, then her precious Auntie K, still jetlagged and on London time, was wide awake at 4 to be able to spend a couple of hours with her angel. I woke at 5 and tempered myself to wait until 6, and tapped on the door a little before 6. I got to spend a good 30 minutes with my precious bug, who I have to tell you, even then, would rest, then rally and sit up and look around, and lay back down. She fought the good fight all the way to the end. Her mommy, after much needed rest, came and got Laynie and I ran for grammie, and aunt nancy. When we got back, Brad was up, and everyone in the front room, with Kip playing worship songs on her laptop, we all got to say goodbye. Lacey, in her nonstop and unending wisdom over her baby, knew that it wouldn't be long, and she and Brad took Laynie to the back and within 5 minutes, precious daddy came and gave the news.

What I didn't expect was to feel such intense sorrow. I've been preparing myself for this, well, for 30 months. I watched Lacey and learned even more yesterday. Her calmness and maturity just awed me. I was the basket case. "You have to write the obit." WHAT??? ME???? I don't write. I can't think. I can't do that. I only blog on that little box on Facebook.....you want me to do something that counts now??? My aunt asked me yesterday "Have you always written?" and I said "I wasn't even aware I could write until we found out about Laynie". It's been easy, it's been my life and heart for 30 months. As I sat at my desk and blindly stared at the blank screen on my computer, trying to find words to describe something so indescribable, I just cried. How do you condense a life so amazing into a 200 word document?? It's just not done. I think my creativity stemmed from her light. And from her light, I discovered my light in a brighter and bolder intensity. The light of God, and His mercy and His supreme rule over MY life. But me?? I don't write... I just share stories.

So here's one, we were all sitting around on the bed yesterday, and the hospice nurse (WHO WAS JUST AMAZING) was listening to all our stuff. Kip, being home, brought her own special brand of beauty to the end... She is so funny and random, and her new favorite word is "Freakin'". "I tried to take a picture of the Pantheon and there was freakin' scaffolding in front of it... this is a good picture of the Colleseum, but there is the freakin' sun..." You see what I am saying? Well, my aunt, exactly what we needed, all week, used Kip's phrase at the most perfect times.... "I think I'll have some more freakin' peach cobbler" and "I'll do the freakin' dishes, where do they go?" and we would just roll. So we used "Freakin'" alot in the last couple of days. Our hospice nurse, just taking us all in, had been listening to us for a bit, and my aunt invited her to sit on the bed with us "You're family" she says.... to which Alicia replies "I'd be honored to be part of this freakin' family" and with that statement, sealed the deal.

Oh friends, I love God. How perfectly scripted this whole journey has been, and I am so honored to have been a principal player in this script. Laynie's life was such a treasure, and if you haven't read her page on Facebook, you've been the only one in Oklahoma not to. Lacey's dad, got a page on Wednesday, and told us yesterday, "She grew 400 fans since I got on there on Wed". We get updates of her page weekly, and Lacey got it yesterday, and her page had 14,200 visits in 4 days. That's because her story is such an amazing walk, and God gave me words to share her story. I believe thousands of peoples lives were touched by my "musings" of her fantastic little life. And It was absolutely my pleasure.

Thank you for loving us, and encouraging us, and playing a supporting role in our script. God's the perfect author in this story, and He delivered us an Academy award with this beautiful little life that we were honored and humbled to play a part in. God gave us perfection, and we will live forever changed.