Why Meat?? June 2, 2009

This is what I think about while I am out working.... And all because I called Laynie a "Little ham" to someone talking about how she wrestled her glasses in the interview.

Ok, here's what I am thinkin....
Why do we call funny people "Hams"? Hams aren't funny. I've walked by the pork section many times in the store and nary broke a smile. Now, broccoli, that's funny. Even fun to say and spell. Why don't people say "She's such a little broccoli?"

Why do we call scared people "Chickens"? Chickens aren't scared. Some chickens will just rush you when you least expect it. I think I may even have had a nightmare about chickens before. So, I think we should call scared people "Mouse". Mice are geared to be scared and scare. We set traps, we even set those sticky things when the traps don't work....which brings me to another stupid thing "Quiet as a mouse"....Uhm, obviously whoever says that, has never caught one of those little suckers in those sticky deals. They are PLENTY loud until they get their little faces caught in the goop. (please don't call PETA on me)

Another weird one.... Clams. Happy as Clams. Now I'm not a judger by any means, but to me, a clam just isn't that dang happy. A clam is alittle like a rock, and that just doesn't scream "HAPPY" to me. I think we should be Happy as Dogs. Dogs are just doggone happy. SEE? except I said Doggone, which what does that mean?? I think if your dog is gone you aren't going to be too happy... so maybe just say I'm pretty stinkin happy as a dog. Anyway, clams...uhm, no.

Then if you have muscles you are "Beefed" up. Hmm. Brings to mind hamburgers hangin out your shirt sleeves. Or worse, roast beef sandwiches hangin out your pockets. What does that Mean?? Beefed? I remember that old lady that used to yell "Where's the Beef"?? Never, ever, did Matthew McConaughy walk by when she said that. I would have remembered that. So a "Beefy male". Just say "Too hot for description" and let it go. And when did HOT become a good thing? Anytime (outside of the tanning bed) have you gotten around something hot, you either a) get seriously burned or b) burn something up of value. So I'm thinking "HOT' may not be the best term to use either. SEE my dilemna as I am driving all over NW OKC today??

So, some Meat person was in charge of our "Slang" language? No wonder more people are speaking Spanish more than ever before. Who can understand what we are saying???

My nail guy doesn't even pretend to understand me anymore. He just starts speaking Vietnamese the minute I walk in the door, and pretends to be deaf. "You want fill" Ok, You sit" and that's about the extent of our conversation. I just confuse him.

I wonder why?

Anyway....useless prattle. What I do best. I think I need a sandwich, all this talk of meat.