Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Sadness- July 27, 2010

Even knowing we were facing losing Laynie, I never understood the full magnitude of how empty my heart would be. God is in there, keeping me grounded...but the pain of the hole in my heart from the loss of the baby is so intense. How in the world do people get through losses without Jesus Christ? How do they face the next day without so much sorrow they can't overcome?? If I didn't have God carrying me through this, I don't know what I would do.


At church, the message always speaks to us.. and this week was so powerful. It was the movie "Extreme Measures" which Lacey & I avoided like the plague when it was at the movies, because we thought it would hit a little too close to home. Hello....

One thing I heard clearly was you always need someone with you to help you through the tough times. So that way when you fall, there is always someone there to pick you up. Do you have that spiritual fall guy by your side?? When you start doubting and worrying, do you have your spiritual warrior beside you to bring you back up and get you walking back on the path to belief?? Lacey and Brad are each other's spiritual warriors. I have never seen such a wonderful walk of patience and healing as I see with them. Totally taking care of each other, and loving each other through it. That helps my heart a degree.

Are you living the life God wants you to live? I don't think He is all that hip on my pain right now. I so totally trust Him and know that His plan was perfect and all, but I miss that little earthly angel so much. I cannot even describe the empty hole in my heart.

If your children get on your nerves, and you just want someone to "Take them somewhere else" (oh yes, I am guilty of this) ... please re-think. Our lives are a blink. A moment. A tic on the clock. Love hard, live fierce, be bold.

Prayers for a broken heart tonight, warriors. I am reading Psalms looking for comfort. The beatitudes gave me some relief... but pictures, videos and memories are all I have now. You all still have the beauty of kissing and holding your precious ones. Never, Ever, Ever, take one second for granted.

God is Good, all the time...

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