My "Notes" May 12, 2009

From the time I knew about Laynie, I blogged my stinkin socks off. Writing about our journey was healing, helpful, insightful for me. And, it was an easy way to keep everyone informed as I went. I blogged on myspace, and the friends that didn't have myspace, I emailed them the same blog. When I deleted my myspace in February, I had had over 10,000 readers on my blogs. I think sharing Laynie's journey, and my journey with her has been a way to keep me grounded and focused.


So, I wrote about me yesterday. I reached down and pulled something out of me that I really didn't want to share and put it out there for display. And it healed something in me. Little by little I'm healing. Everytime you put yourself out there, and examine it, something clicks inside and makes you see things you didn't know about yourself.

Sometimes I read what I wrote and I'm like "Dang, where did that come from".... because I don't really think about what I'm saying (unfortunately, that can get you in trouble big time....hence the "A closed mouth gathers no feet") and just go with it.

I don't know what i'm trying to say with this except that sometimes my notes aren't for anyone but me. But I have learned through Laynie, that sometimes what needs to be said in your heart, is exactly what someone else might be needing to hear in theirs. So I put it out there, some of it good, some of it crap, and see what happens.

I'm healing from my pain of the breakup (FINALLY) , and I am SOOO blessed with my family. If you aren't particularly close to yours... you should give it a try. Ironically, Kip (My 20 year old) and I found ourselves broken up at the same time. So, we were each other's valentines, and we dated each other for many many weeks. And you know we walked away from that deal with.... my 20 year old knows she can be ok. Her mama will always be there for her no matter what. Her words when I informed her that we had lamely spent the last 5 weekends together "I'm not hating it". I loved it. My daughters are my masterpieces. If I don't do anything else in this world well, I want to go out knowing my children are strong, beautiful women of God... and they are. Lacey amazes me with her strength and love for Laynie. She is a wonderful stay at home mom, and I find myself asking her for recipe and food. She is my grandma and my daughter all rolled up in a wonderful package of wit and humor. God knew what he was doing when he chose Laynie's family. He had this incredible little baby just waiting and he blessed US with her. How lucky are we? Who else in the world could live in 3 houses in a row? Us. It takes a village to raise a child?? Sometimes it takes a child to raise the village.

My masterpieces

God is good.... all the time.